tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45849004556709028292024-03-08T04:46:22.420-08:00Cannonball Read and other junkUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-40113474702211611432010-10-31T15:38:00.000-07:002010-10-31T16:03:32.947-07:00FAILURE -- but I think I made it to 52. Let's countSo, I suck at Blogging. And writing book reviews. Honestly, if I would have just stuck with it and if I had not fallen so far behind I could have pulled it off. The question is will you let me back in for the next round of Cannonball read, and how can I contribute to Lil' Pink's college fund on my own? I hate being a let down!<br /><br />Ok, here's what I've been reading.<br /><br />13 books by Robert Crais. Elvis Cole detective novels, really, it would have been impossible to write reviews for all of those, I mean they were all the same. Good, really good, but the same idea. I mean how far can you go in a detective novel? So that makes 35. Crap, maybe I didn't make 52.<br /><br />36. The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom. This was in my southern stories phase. Though it seems that phase didn't carry me to far. Pretty good, about an orphan girl raised in the slave quarters only to become the mistress of the house.<br /><br />37. Milrose Munce and the Den of Professional Help. Kids book, who turned me on to this? At any rate, good. Milrose can see ghosts.<br /><br />38. The Fixer Upper by Mary Kay Andrews. Uhhhhhhh oh, I got it, Washington intern type gets sold down the river by her boss, humiliated and broke she agrees to move to small town GA and fix up the family "plantation". Naturally she falls in love. Inexplicably she decides to use white ceramic tile for the counter tops in the kitchen. Has the author never had to deal with that particular grout nightmare?<br /><br />39. This Pen For Hire by Laura Levine. I honestly have no idea what this was about other than the protagonist wrote a love letter for some hopless dweeb and somehow he got implicated in a murder. Really, not memorable<br /><br />40. Dead in the Family by Charlane Harris. Soooookeh. In all honesty it is a blur. Something about the fairy twins really being triplets and one getting murdered...maybe. I have the books so jumbled with the HBO series that I can't keep them straight.<br /><br />41. That Eat What's Good For You book that someone else reviewed on Pajiba some while back. Too lazy to go to the bedroom and see what the title actually is. Basically, if you can't pronounce it or it isn't in your pantry don't shove it down your gullet.<br /><br />42. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. Wow, good stuff. Is the movie out? Curiously I finished this the day that uh, dude, won the Nobel prize for his work test tube babies. Ok, maybe not exactly, but something like that. I am truly bad with current events.<br /> <br />43. CRAP CRAP CRAP I am 9 short! The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender. Protagonist can taste the feelings that are put into food. Her brother keeps disappearing, her mother is having an affair and her father is distant. Bothersome in that it is written without ""s when people speak. <br /><br />Well shoot, I thought I had made it. Here's to hoping for better luck next time! <br /><br />Over and out for now.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-66313008338741929902010-07-08T14:43:00.000-07:002010-07-08T15:03:16.852-07:00Book 22. Notting HellAnother bedside book. I must have been feeling very British in early June. Or very much like reading a shit ton of chick books. I am just going to say at the outset this is going to be a short review becausee this book fell flat with me. I guess that is what I get for buying off of the Barnes and Noble extreme sale table.<br /><br />So we have Clare, married to her semidouchey husband and ecotect. They live in Notting Hill and their house abuts a community garden/park. I know absolutely nothing about the hoity toitys of Notting Hill so my "geography" for lack of a better term might be off. At any rate, Clare is trying to have a kid with no luck. She is "friends" (when not spying on her or critizing her) with Mimi and fellow square dweller. Clare catches sight of one of their neighbours exiting a house that is not her own in the middle of the night. So the gossip mill fires up to full producction capacity. In the mean time Mimi is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Si Kaspian billionaire playboy. He has purchased a house on the super hoity toity side of the square. He comes along, she considers an affair, Clare is still trying to get pregnant and it appears as though Mimi's husband might be a good sperm donor......Oh blah blah blah. Everyone sleeps with everyone, everyone talks about everyone, everyone stabs at least one other person in the back and everyone has more money than sense. There you have it. Having spent sometime in a little place called Gulf Harbour I can say from experience that the descriptions of these peoples habits and behaviours are spot on. Gross.<br /><br />Read it if you want an brief peep into the life of the rich and richer. Otherwise, skip it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-37650018055212630782010-07-08T14:24:00.000-07:002010-07-08T14:42:59.963-07:00Book 21. Remember Me?Sometime in late May (or all the time, as it seems now) I went through a cash deficit and was forced to read from the stack of books next to my bed. How different life is with an actual book versus a Kindle. Jesus, I can really be a spoiled bitch. No comments necessary. Soooo, I picked up this little "gem" by Sophie Kinsella. If you have read any of the <em>Shopaholic</em> series you know where this review is going.<br /><br />Holy cow, I am half way through these reviews. Yahoo! Ok, ok, back on track. The book starts out with Lexi Smart out at the pub with her girlfriends celebrating their bonuses. She hasn't worked in the flooring department of her company long enough to get a bonus so she is a bit poor and depressed. The evening ends with Lexi biting it and hitting her head. She wakes up in the hospital and thinks that it is 2004, the day after the night at the pub. As it turns out she has amnesia and it is really 2008, or maybe 2007. Really, it doesn't matter. She also discovers that instead of being the "snaggle tooth fatty" she was in 2004 she is now a svelte even toothed shiny haired goddess. To add to that she discovers that she is married to a fabulously wealthy hotty and is now the head of the entire flooring department. She gets out the hospital and goes home with her husband, the hotty, Eric. As the chapters unfold and she tries to remember anything about the past we discover that Eric isn't the prince charming she was hoping for (read: he is giant douche) and her wonderful life, job and friends aren't all they were cracked up to be. Does that phrase even make sense? I mean it seems right, but it really doesn't read back right. Mix in a bit of work place intrigue and a possible affair and you've got yourself an amnesia story. I know I was going on and on about character growth in my review of Tropper, and technically she does grow in the end, but come on. This was just so shallow. Not that I was expecting any deep thoughts from this genre... <br /><br />As a waste the day don't need to think there are a lot of short chapters so I can stop anytime I wish I was thin and rich and had a wonderful husband/dude to have an affair with this is a great book. For anything more substantial, look farther.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-17039584462794812572010-07-08T13:47:00.000-07:002010-07-08T14:22:10.729-07:00Book 20. This is Where I Leave YouThis is another May book, I read two Troppers in quick succession because I loved this, my first foray into his work, so freaking much. It absolutely slayed me. I can't remember if I was reading this on a plane of if I was at home. Either way, I was laughing out loud.<br /><br />Let me say I have no idea what led me to Jonathan Tropper, but I know I bought this book in part because of the bright lettering on the book jacket. Yes, I am that person. Further I didn't even get the actual book, I bought it on the Kindle. So I guess that makes me an even bigger "that person". Book buying habits aside, this guy is awesome.<br /><br />In this, his fifth book, we meet Judd Foxman. He has been called home from his miserable life to shit Shiva for his deceased Father, an atheist. Judd is unemployed after finding his wife in bed with his boss. He is currently renting a crappy basement apartment so the prospect of sitting Shiva for a week with his family doesn't seem to be the worst thing to happen to him. He arrives to his childhood home and finds his sister Wendy, her disengaged husband and their three children, his older bother Paul and his wife who is experiencing fertility problems (cue the jealousy of Wendy and her children and "sex on demand" with the baby monitor on for all in the Shiva room [totally not Jewish so I have no clue what this is called] to hear), and the eventual arrival of baby brother Phillip and his girlfriend (much older) of the month, his life coach. All of this goes without mentioning his Mother a child rearing expert who chronicled the best and worst of her children's youthful mistakes in several books. Horrid sentences aside (mine, not his) there is not a single character you are introduced to in this book that is not an integral part of the story. Tropper does a wonderful job capturing the nuances of a normal (highly dysfunctional) family with biting one liners and just a fabulous sense of humour (extreme sarcasm). THe character's stories are all wonderfully interwoven and as a reader you care about the resolution of their problems.<br /><br />In retrospect, I think I enjoyed this book so much not only because of the humour but because each of the characters grows by the end. In many books, or maybe it is just the mystery crap I read, the characters are the same in the beginning as they are in the end. No one seems to learn anything. Not true here. One last thing, Tropper really managed to capture that hyperventilating inducing funny shit at a totally in appropriate times. I kept flashing to my Grandfather's funeral and the Minister(Pastor?) going on and on and on about my cousins (wonderful Baptists). Nary a word was spoken about my side of the family (beer drinking heathens). While this was happening my Mother kept poking me and cracking up. I was DYING. See, as I tell this it comes off as blah blah, not so funny. With Tropper at the helm these events come to life and make you guffaw aloud. Long and short of it, if you like sarcasm and family dynamics, this guy is for you.<br /><br />I also read <em>How to Talk to a Widower</em>. I will not bother reviewing it because it is very much like <em>This is Where I Leave You</em>. I will say, <em>Widower</em> was every bit as good as <em>This is Where I Leave You</em>. Though it was similar so I wouldn't recommend reading them back to back. It would be a shame to get burned out on this author.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-51281591134368816362010-07-08T13:25:00.000-07:002010-07-08T13:47:13.085-07:00Book 19. Every Last One: A NovelMan, this is tragic. I am so far behind in writing the reviews that I think I am going to have to scrap some of the books I've read and just move on. The bad thing is that I know I am well over 20 but some of those I read so stinking long ago I just can't remember much about them. This book, by Anna Quindlen is one of those. I think I read it in May. I remember buying it on the Kindle late one afternoon and starting it with a beer. I finished a six pack and finished the book. I was sobbing. It was a disaster. I went into it knowing that some life altering tragedy was looming but I never imagined how huge the tragedy would actually be. Thus the sobbing. <br /><br />Ok so here is the deal (forgive me if this starts to read like the Amazon blurb, I had to go back and read it for a bit of a refresher), The Latham's are your average family living in your average town. Mary Beth is the Mother and she runs a landscaping business more as hobby and out of enjoyment than as a necessity. She has a husband whom she loves and to whom she has been married for several years. They have 3 children, Ruby, and twins Max and Alex. The first half of the book focuses on their mundane run of the mill family problems. Odd as it may sound, it was written so well that I just kind of fell into Mary Beth's frame of mind. Ruby breaks up with her boyfriend Kirenan and he goes all teenage angsty weird. Since the children are all close in age Kirenan sticks around as a friend to the twin brothers. His oddball behaviour is overshadowed by the depression of one of the twins. One brother is the outgoing jock the other is the nerdy introvert. Mary Beth gets caught up in Max's (I think that was the introvert kid) problems and is determined to help him. Just when things start to come together, BOOM the middle of the book happens. The last half deals with the aftermath and the picking up of the pieces.<br /><br />Honestly, I don't know if it was the beer or the phase of the moon but this book really hit me. It was a good story and it had a twist I simply didn't see coming. Well, I knew what was coming, I just did not imagine the extent. Never mind, I don't want to give up too much. <br /><br />This author reeled me in with well rounded characters, a bit of mystery, and quick paced story. If you are in the mood for a bit of girly read, a bit of beach book, and a bit of tear jerker, then this it. I'd say thumbs up. I would read Quindlen again, but I am not clamoring to get to the Kindle page to snap up another of her works. Does that make sense?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-16538317717896566392010-06-14T14:57:00.000-07:002010-06-14T15:01:18.802-07:00Book 18. Blue ChristmasMary Kay Andrews, again. This one had the characters that I remembered from her past books. Or kind of remembered. The stories with Weezie Foley, the antiques dealer in Savannah, are always enjoyable. For some reason I get a big thrill out of reading books that are set in the South. In any time period. Is that weird? Yeah, I suppose it is. I chalk it up to being from Iowa and then moving to Georgia, and now Alabama. I call it my tour of the redneck states. Not offense meant. As usual, I digress. <br /><br />It seems that this may have been one of those “special holiday stories” that some authors will put out with not as a regular installment in a series of books. I don’t know that this was case for sure, but, again, it really seemed that way. Weezie wants to win the downtown holiday window decorating contest and she is facing some stiff completion from her new gay business rivals. Total gay stereotypes all over, but not in an offensive manor. At least they didn’t seem offensive to me but I am not a gay man so I could be totally off the mark. Just take them as light hearted humor and move on. She decides on an Elvis Blue Christmas theme and is determined to win and have the best Christmas ever despite her boyfriend’s hatred of all things Christmas due to bad childhood memories. Wow, that was a sentence. A bad one. <br /><br />Basically, she runs her store, hangs out with her friend Bebe, feuds with the gays and makes some strange connection with a homeless woman for whom she leaves/receives gifts in her pickup truck. One can figure out just exactly what is going to happen about a quarter of the way through the book. Strange, though I remember figuring it all out, I have no idea how it ends now. This is not heavy thought provoking material here. I think I have her latest on the Kindle but have yet to read it. I have been back on that book hoarding thing I do. Now it is time to stop buying and start reading. I guess I need another long flight or two.<br /><br />Basically, I keep reading this author because I like the Savannah setting and the stories are light and fluffy and a good way to kill an afternoon. If you like that kind of stuff, check Mary Kay Andrews out, if you don’t, well then, don’t.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-77176568474806827782010-06-14T14:54:00.000-07:002010-06-14T14:57:56.865-07:00Book 17. Finger Lickin FifteenReally, have I reviewed any of these Janet Evanovich “numbered bounty hunter books”? Clearly not. When I first got the Kindle I read 14 of these books (just checked my Kindle account) in fairly rapid succession. As in over a month’s time. Is that apostrophe correct? The time belongs to the month right? I mean it is not plural months. Wow that seems odd. Back to my point. I read these things nonstop and maybe that is way they are meant to be consumed. Taking a year off and coming back to a tired story line, and horrific phrases like “he did an eye-roll”, “she did a glare" was not the best idea I have ever had. In fact when I started reading this I was trying to recall what Evanovich was always writing that used to irritate me so much. Sure enough I now have “he did an eye roll” is seared on my brain. Shouldn’t that be he rolled his eyes? I just don’t know. What I do know is I don’t like it. That aside, let’s cover the story, shall we?<br /><br />This episode of the Stephanie Plum bounty hunter show centers around Lula, Stephanie’s friend/coworker/plus sized woman/ex prostitute. She witnesses a top tv chef (what was it with me and the food books?) get beheaded by a couple of maniacs. Hilarity ensues. Or at least I suppose it is supposed to. The two bumbling hit men try to kill Lula for a good portion of the book, Stephanie has her list of bail jumpees that need to be brought in (usually unsuccessfully if she and Lula are working together), she is on the outs with her boyfriend the cop Morelli and she is helping Ranger figure out who has been breaching his security systems and robbing his clients. That was the part that just didn’t make any sense. She is a bounty hunter, not detective. That and the incessant sexual tension/sexual banter between Stephanie and Ranger just seemed old. I mean do it already, sheesh. Anyway, Lula and Stephanie’s Grandmother decide that they are going to enter a bbq cook-off and that will lead them to the bumbling hit men and the reward money offered to find the killer of the chef/bbq sauce guy. I guess this all made sense as I was reading it. It doesn’t really now.<br /><br />If I have read all 15 of these so that must say something about the books. I mean they can’t be that bad. But then I did read the Twilight series all the while knowing it was God Awful and all the while flipping the pages as fast as I could. I guess if you need a lot of something easy these are the way to go. The 16th is coming out soon. I know I will read it but I will probably hate myself in the morning. Ok, they really aren’t THAT bad, they just aren’t THAT good. I love Serge A. Storms much more than Stephanie Plum but as I said in the review of Dorsey’s book, it might be time to give these characters a vacation. I guess that could be accomplished by me not reading those books couldn’t it? Fine, they are like crack and I can’t stop, I am just trying to save face over here I guess.<br /><br />I concede, thumbs up all of for all of ‘em. Read the trashy series if for the only reason to be appalled when “they” screw up the trashiness by adapting it into a feature film. Who was rumoured to play Stephanie? I need the Pajiba archives for that.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-47491662670781437562010-06-14T14:13:00.000-07:002010-06-14T14:16:12.653-07:00Book 16. The Spellmans Strike AgainI have no idea if this is what I read next, but it must not be because it appears as though I purchased it well before Deep Dish. In April. No wonder I am having such a difficult time getting caught up, I am well over 2 months behind. Oh well, soldier on.<br /><br />This latest from Lisa Lutz follows her main character Izzy Spellman on yet another journey through the streets of SF as a private eye. She works for her parents (fellow PIs) and with her sister (high school aged Rae) though most of the spying the family does seems to be on each other. In this, the fourth book (I think), Izzy is trying to make things work with her bartender boyfriend, trying to solve the mystery of why everyday things such as doorknobs and light fixtures are going missing in her parent’s home/her office, fielding weekly “phone calls from the edge” from her elderly friend Morty, dealing with sanctioned “Lawyer” dates set up by her mother, and getting dragged into her little sister’s pro bono work for her brother’s girlfriend. It sounds a bit hokey as I write it but really, I love this series. Lutz imagines some crazy scenarios to put Izzy in and the level of manipulation, lying and spying that goes on within this family is too much, and too funny. Lutz has a bit of a dry wit and I always appreciate sarcasm mixed with a generous use of footnotes (kind of a pain in the ass on the Kindle). This too, like most things I read in the summer (or I guess it was spring at the time) is light, very light. But I appreciate the writing and great stories Lisa Lutz conjures on a yearly basis....so I don’t fear that Izzy will go away too soon, I am sure this is a money making character. From reading Lutz’s website (something I very rarely do with the authors I read) it seems that there must be a lot of Lutz in Izzy which makes me kind of want to be her friend. Which sounds a bit stalkerish but that is totally not the intention.<br /><br />This series, and unless the future Spellman books take a drastic turn, all get the thumbs up.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-29762280633179041062010-06-14T14:08:00.000-07:002010-06-14T14:13:37.202-07:00Book #15 Deep DishOk, I have been SO slacking that I may not be able to recover… I am going to give it a shot by trying to review some of the books I read what seems like months ago, provided my beer soaked memory can provide me with enough information. Additionally, work, while not seasonal is terribly cyclical. I am in a valley trying to kill 9 hours a day so I should be caught up in no time.<br /><br />Deep Dish. As I recall I must have been on some type of books with food gig. I remember that is was still cool enough in AL to sit in the sun without the luxury of a swimming pool and read. I think I finished that other food mystery with the poodle on the cover and then was a loss for cheesy brainless sitting in the sun reading. I consulted my room of books and came up with Mary Kay Andrews. Off I went to Amazon in search. I think this was perhaps her most recent and why I purchased it.<br /><br />The book centers around Gina Foxton, a cable channel chef. She discovers not only that her main advertiser has jumped ship, but that her producer boyfriend was sleeping with the sponsors wife. There is one chance to save the show and that is to have it picked up by a national station. Her cad of boyfriend has arranged an "interview", for lack of a better term, with the head honchos from the Food Network, or whatever it was called in the book. The problem is that she is not the only chef in contention for the coveted Food Network slot. Enter Tate Moody and his dog, pickup truck, and airstream (at least that is how I imagined it) trailer. As Rom-Coms will have it, they hated each other on sight. Opposites repelling and all. Their publicists catch wind of a feud and use their animosity towards each other to boost interest whichever show gets picked up by the network. And we are off and running. Girl meets boy, Girl hates boy, Girl needs to beat boy at his own game, Girl needs boy to help her. I will stop there. I do remember about half way through the book knowing what was going to happen. Though it didn’t play out as quickly as I had imagined, things fell into place just as the Rom-Com formula dictates. <br /><br />At any rate, this is just one of those lazy afternoon books. Doesn’t really deserve a thumb up or down, it was just there doing what I needed it to – pass the time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-40704432837293588652010-05-10T14:09:00.000-07:002010-05-10T14:38:32.571-07:00Book 14. The Proof is in the PuddingAs spring dawns in Alabama so does my need to read pure crap. I can while away entire weekends reading book upon book with sketchy plot lines, questionable narrators, and sometimes <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">amateurish</span> writing. This was one of those books.<br /><br />Last summer in the height of my Kindle frenzy I got hooked on cheesy mysteries. Usually with a female lead. I was drawn to Melinda Welles because she was two books into a series and there I are times I am just lazy enough to get stuck on one author and read everything that is available in quick succession. Plus there was a black standard poodle on the cover. I know, I know.<br /><br />In this, the third installment in the series, Della is pegged to judge a charity cooking competition. She is a widow of a cop turned cooking school instructor turned "celebrity" chef. During the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">competition</span> one of her fellow judges is murdered and she, along with her best friend's daughter and her husband's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">partner</span>, is suspected of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">committing</span> the crime. The cast of characters include her publicist, her reporter boyfriend, her two female best friends, her best friends <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">daughter</span> and her husbands partner. They have been present in the other three novels and very comfortable. By that I mean, reading these books is like watching Cheers. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">You</span> know everyone, you know what is going to happen but you keep at it because everyone is just likable.<br /><br />While not written poorly per <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">se</span>, this book seemed a bit <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">amateurish</span> as I am sure the other two did as well. Cooking figures prominently and and there are the requisite <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">recipes</span> at the end. This set up seems to be a popular one in so far as two more books that I read by different authors had this mystery cooking here is your recipes vibe. Weird really, but I suppose it sells. <br /><br />This series of books provide a good afternoon diversion. While mostly fluff, the plots are interesting enough to keep you turning the pages. So if cooking, dogs, and murder, and comfortable <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">characters</span> is your gig, oh maybe it you aren't a guy, pick these up.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-85690047623080463012010-05-10T13:38:00.000-07:002010-05-10T14:09:03.469-07:00Book 13. Atomic LobsterHow I love Serge A. Storms. How I love Tim Dorsey for creating Serge A. Storms. How I hope that after book 11 Dorsey finds some new material for Serge.<br /><br />Serge is the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">quintessential</span> anti-hero you root for from book to book. I am not entirely sure that anti-hero is a strong enough word. He is freaking bonkers. He has <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">OCD</span>, ADD and all of the other three letters you can <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">conjure</span>. He is a psychopath who spends his days killing muggers, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">rapists</span>, and litterers in the most creative of fashions. He has a good heart is completely without remorse and will do anything for his friends. He has been the central <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">character</span> of a cast of hundreds of crazy <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Floridians</span> in 11 of Dorsey's novels. He is a veritable encyclopedia of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Florida</span> history and this love of his state is what drives him do the things that he does. Though he is clearly off his nut, he will not tolerate the "scum" that is invading his holy ground, the entire state of Florida. The individual plots all seem to run <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">together</span> and frankly I can't remember the specifics of Atomic Lobster other than there were retirees <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">determining</span> that it was more <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">financially</span> lucrative to live aboard cruise ships, relic smuggling "bad-guys", and a return of Serge's neighbours from Dorsey's first book. There is always a good deal of Florida movie and music history (this time it was bands from Florida that people think came from elsewhere: <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">Skynrd</span> and the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">Allman</span> Brother's specifically) in addition to other crazy Florida trivia. Good stuff for those who have spent way too much time in that crazy state. Again, the books aren't so much about the story line but rather about the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">character</span>. At least that is how they are for me. Serge's adventures are getting a bit tired and I fear that it might be best to put this money making franchise to rest. In fact, Dorsey took him to LA a few books back. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-error">Meh</span>, good movie <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">trivia</span> but Serge belongs in Florida. The writing and this particular brand of humour make me laugh out loud which is why I keep coming back. If you haven't read Dorsey, start at the beginning and work your way through. The earlier ones just seem better, funnier. If you have read <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-error">Hiaasen</span> and liked <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-error">Skink</span>, you will like Serge and Dorsey's story telling. I would be willing to be bet you'd like him better. At least I do. With that I will leave you with some nuggets from <em>Atomic Lobster</em> that made me guffaw.<br /><br /><em>"Serge, I didn't go to school all those years to discuss Florida movies."</em><br /><em>"Then you got gypped."</em><br /><em>"Serge!"</em><br /><em>"Okay, okay. Here's what's bothering me. You want the truth? I don't have a legacy."</em><br /><em>"Legacy?"</em><br /><em>"Well, I have one, but it's the wrong kind. Think of all of the great creative legacies from history. Either a defining moment, like the photo of Mount <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" class="blsp-spelling-error">Suribachi</span>, or a fertile period, from</em> Beggar's Banquet<em> to</em> Exile on Main Street<em>. I need to leave a universally respected mark on this world or what's the point?"</em><br /><em>"What brought this on?"</em><br /><em>"I googled myself. People have no idea how words can hurt."</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>"Listen," Jim told Serge. "Don't you think you need to get back to whoever you're with --"</em><br /><em>"Her name is Rachel."</em><br /><em>"...back to Rachel."</em><br /><em>"It's okay," said Serge. "I'm just getting a B.J. now. I can talk."</em><br /><em>"What?"</em><br /><em>"In fact, it makes me </em>want<em> to talk. Hard to believe, but Peter O. Knight used to be Tampa's main airport. I can see it all now, silver DC-3s, alligator suitcases...Rachel watch the teeth...the terminal decorated with the 1930s art deco murals of George Snow depicting the history of flight, Daedalus to the Wright Brothers and Tony Janus, restored on display at Tampa <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" class="blsp-spelling-error">International's</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" class="blsp-spelling-error">Airside</span> E, for those keeping score at home..."</em><br /><em></em><br />Pick up some Dorsey for a lazy afternoon by the pool. Good stuff.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-52839693577172314752010-05-10T13:00:00.000-07:002010-05-10T13:37:59.852-07:00Book 12. Beginner's Greek: A NovelI started this book and loved it, I read more and hated it, I finished it and loved it. The net? I am not sure how I feel about it. I have suggested it to a few friends to get their take but I have heard nothing back. Perhaps they have the same issues with book discussions as I have with blogging about them. <br /><br />The book starts with Peter Russell, some type of finance guy, aboard an airplane waiting to see who is seat mate will be. As I am wont to do, Peter is scanning the aisle hoping an attractive woman (I look for the men) will make her way towards him. In his mind she will be the perfect creature, they will exchange <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">bon</span>-mots for the duration of the flight and, naturally, fall in love. As it turns out, this dream creature does sit down next to him. She is reading <em>The Magic Mountain</em> by Thomas Mann (never read it). This leads Peter to begin intrinsically debating the merits of bringing up a conversation with her concerning the novel. Peter's internal monologue and resulting fears of making a fool of himself is part of the reason I loved the book. He is written so well, so real and his feeling about love seem to make so much sense. I am ahead of myself. They speak, they hit it off and she (Holly) gives him her number at baggage claim with the understanding that he will call her when is not busy with his meetings. As the pages went by following the receipt of her number I knew he was going to lose it and thus lose his chance. He did.<br /><br />The book progresses and it is revealed that Peter's best friend is married to Holly and Peter is engaged to a woman who he knows he doesn't love, for he is still in love with Holly. It is not that he doesn't love her (totally forgot her name) but the he doesn't love her in the same way as Holly and this love for Holly is what seems to be the "real" thing to him. He ruminates on the fact that his fiancee loves him because he is "safe" and a good match financially, socially, and physically speaking. So he is willing to go through with it because he know it will be "fine". Peter's best friend is a bit of an asshole. We all know this guy, attractive, knows it, witty, knows it a bit of liar and huge manipulator. He is cheating on Holly and Peter knows it but feels that there is nothing he can do because the dude is best friend and Peter perceives him as being better (I read this as more charismatic, more "that guy") than Peter could ever be.<br /><br />The book is divided into narratives from each of the main characters, the Fiancee, Peter, the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Fiancee's</span> Father, the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Fiancee's</span> Step Mother, and perhaps the best friend (it has been a long while since I read this). This provides wonderful insight into each of their motivations. I always find is fascinating when a male author can see so far into a woman's psyche. At any rate, the major theme is love. Throwing caution to the wind and putting your heart out there if only to get it broken. The idea of settling because you don't know what else to do, you are financially obligated to a person, you don't want to leave the comfort of what is known to search for true happiness which comes from finding that true love. The idea of one person loving another more in a relationship and the troubles that always seem to arise as a function of that inequity. Additionally Collins examines the roles people take, the trophy wife to her aging yet wealthy husband. The not as pretty girl to the girl that seems to effortlessly have it all. The gregarious guy to the nice guy. I loved all of this and it all resonated very true to me. <br /><br />As the book progresses the reader knows that disaster is imminent. This is what I hated. Presently, I am not sure why it drew such ire but at the time it really irritated me. I know that I kept turning the pages because I knew it was all going to fall apart and I needed to know when and how. This seems like a good quality in a story in retrospect. I think maybe I felt over manipulated at the time. I guess, now looking back, I really did love the book. <br /><br />Isn't it odd how books affect you in different ways depending upon what is happening in your own life? At least the good ones do.<br /><br />That's all. Read it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-89562070560613479952010-05-10T12:52:00.000-07:002010-05-10T13:00:24.711-07:00Book 11, againThis won't be long, I have so many other plot lines floating in my head but I wanted to touch on this book once again if only to say 10 books later this was one of the best. I don't remember having, or knowing about, such wonderful fiction when I was a child. The story was engrossing, touching, humourous and timeless. What a trite word, timeless, but it is the best that I have at this moment. <br /><br />I hijacked my sister's Kindle and bought this book for her (I pushed the buttons and she paid for it). She too found it enjoyable and she like many of the other astute readers out there got the vampire gig from the get-go. At any rate, Bod's story was meaningful to me even as an "adult" and use the term loosely. I rambled enough about this during the book club discussion so I am going to leave it at that. <br /><br />Total thumbs up and this probably one of the few I have read so far that I would recommend to just about anyone.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-46311300179976174932010-05-10T12:48:00.001-07:002010-05-10T12:52:16.573-07:00SooooAs it turns out I have read 10 books since my last post and have managed to write not one single review. This, I think, may make me the worst Cannonball reader of the bunch. In a sad attempt to rectify the situation I am going to sit here, playing hooky (kind of) from work and knock these bad boys out. I am going to get all 10 off my stack of to dos so I can finish the last half of this challenge with a clean slate. So faithful reader (hellooooo anyone there?) here I go.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-82875883319708117062010-03-31T13:21:00.001-07:002010-03-31T13:23:39.681-07:00Book 11. The Graveyard BookI just finished and I just finished crying. Maybe the end hit me so hard because it is my birthday and all I can think about with the passage of time are the things I haven't done and probably never will do. Not to mention the stupid mistakes that I have made. Though without them, I wouldn't be me but that doesn't stop me from obsessing. What a great book. I need to let it resonate for a day before I finish this. Sigh.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-4260651647434902742010-02-24T17:22:00.001-08:002010-02-24T17:40:13.029-08:00Book #10 The Nanny Diaries Part 2I really tend to publish these reviews in bulk. With that said, there isn't too much to say about this book. I read the first Nanny Diaries when it came out several years ago. Kind of at the height of the "chick-lit" (which always sounds sexual to me) <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">phenomenon</span>. I remember it as being very entertaining and "informative" concerning the lives of Upper East Side families. I guess that was before Gossip Girl (not that I watch that trash... faithfully).<br /><br />So this book picks up several years later after Nan has married, moved abroad, and finally settled with her Husband in NYC. In the past I have bitched and moaned about authors who insist upon recapping the previous book in a serious in the first two chapters. I am here to rescind that gripe. The author (too lazy to get the Kindle to figure out her name) makes vague references to events in the past but doesn't flesh them out. Which would be all fine and dandy if some of those events weren't integral to the plot in this book. At any rate, Nan's husband goes to Africa for business leaving her alone in their under-renovation Brownstone. Late one evening her charge from her Nannying day shows up drunk and despondent on her front stoop. He lays into her for the way she left (something to do with a confession spoken into a stuffed Nanny-cam bear) and promptly passes out. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Hijinx</span> ensue. Seriously. She somehow ends up in charge not only of the 17 year old but of his <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">pre</span>-teen brother Stilton whom the parents have also managed to treat as an object to be had rather than a child. I don't know, other people come and go, some such business about a helicopter pad at the private school at which she is employed (doing some type of vague staff <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">liaison</span> job), P<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">onzi</span> schemes make an appearance as well as faking cancer to avoid a scandal. Snooty friends from private school, a trip to Hamptons, inappropriate groping by an entitled husband, and a discount Miro (Rothko? Neither? Don't remember) round out the story.<br /><br />I can <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">usually</span> plow through these types of books in an afternoon. For some reason, this just didn't hold my interest. I couldn't remember character names, I had to go back and reread to figure out what the hell was going on when I would pick up the book after a few days. The sentences were oddly constructed (not that mine prove to be much better). It all seemed kind of trite. Kind of already done on Gossip Girl or other upper east side trash shows.<br /><br />It wasn't bad, it wasn't good. If you have read the first, you may as well read the second. If you watch Gossip Girl, you will have heard it all before and quite frankly better. So, thumbs neutral.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-30277944847461251122010-02-24T17:15:00.000-08:002010-02-24T17:21:55.420-08:00Book 9. LolitaI could have sworn that I read this book in it's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">entirety</span> years ago, and perhaps I did but I just don't remember all of it. Well, either way, I have read it again. I think that when Humbert started to lose it on his final cross country trip with Dolly I started to shut down. Once she was gone and things became a bit more coherent I was able to power through and finish it (in the nick of time I might add). I found the end note by <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Nabakov</span> to be more interesting than the manuscript itself. Or at the very least a wonderful addition to the story. Was Humbert truly sorry for the life (lives) that he ruined? Was he truly mad? Was Lolita's behaviour a result of his affections or used to gain his affections? It has been so many years that I have been out of school and have "needed" to read a book for more than the passing of time and enjoyment that this was a good exercise for me. I do look forward to the discussion tomorrow.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-22051898528469595462010-01-22T12:45:00.000-08:002010-01-22T12:46:25.468-08:00Book 8. Pirate LatitudesNot really sure where I have been but as it turns out Michael Crichton has died. A quick scan of Wikipedia tells me that this happened November of 2008. Hmm. Completely missed it, but then that may because I have read absolutely nothing that he has written. ER was the only acquaintance I had with him and that was years and years ago when I watched that. So yeah, I have never seen Jurassic Park, sue me. What led me to Pirate Latitudes? I honestly have no idea. Maybe it was on some Kindle list? New releases? All I know is that unlike most of the things I buy (I am a total Kindle Hoarder, like what they are going to do stop selling certain books? Are the digital version is going to sell out? Jesus, get a grip) I read this right away. I must have been in the mood for some pirates, sea monsters, cannibals, and corrupt government officials.<br /> <br />This was good stuff. You know how some books make you want to hop in your time machine and in this case your sex change machine and be the main character in the book? Or even a supporting character? I totally wanted to do that. I wanted to be a pirate in the 17th century. These weren’t Disneyfied pirates, they were womanizing killers and thieves. I don’t know if it was the plot, the descriptions, or a combination of the two that made me want to be there. Whatever it was, it made for a really good read.<br /> <br />The book starts in 1665 in Port Royal, Jamaica. The governor, Sir James Almont is on his way to attend the hanging of a man convicted of being a pirate. In this colony privateering is a completely acceptable profession, but pirating will get a guy hung. The difference between the two is all semantics. A merchant ship arrives in the bay carrying Almont’s new secretary Hacklett, his wife, and group of female English convicts meant to be wives for the men on the island. Almont hears that on the trip to Jamaica the people aboard the Godspeed saw a Spanish galleon at anchor in the bay of Spanish controlled island. A plan is born. Enter Hunter, a well respected privateer with a small sloop. At the behest of Almont he gathers together a crew and they set off to capture a seemingly uncapturable Spanish treasure ship. In the course of the narrative, Hunter and his crew are captured, there is sword fighting, cannonball fire, sinking ships, treasure, sea monsters, cannibals, oh my. When he and his crew finally return to Port Royal the situation is not as they had hoped.<br /><br />Admittedly, at the first sighting of the sea monster all I could think was oh crap, this is turning into some weirdo scifi gig. It conjured memories of that horrid made for tv movie about the giant squid. What the hell was that tripe called? Not important. I also kept thinking that this was total Hollywood material that would no doubt be presented as a summer block buster riddled with CGI and some milquetoast actor as Hunter. I hope that this scenario does not play out. <br /><br />There was bit more blood and guts than I accustomed to in my usual fictional fare. On the flip side there was a good deal of pirate superstition and nautical folklore. Which I find to be interesting. All in all, a really good adventure story. In the future I do not think I will be sliding into any other Crichton works only because I don’t find the subject matter particularly intriguing. As it stands, Pirate Latitudes: A Novel gets the thumbs up.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-15245643518209517052010-01-22T12:13:00.000-08:002010-01-22T12:15:02.479-08:00Hell. Book 7. No really, the title is Hell.So I finished this sometime in mid Dececmeber, but as usual, I put off the reivew. I have found that I have been to busy at work flirting with a Canadian over email and reading Pajiba to write the review, oh and do any actual work. <br /><br />At any rate, from what I remember Robert Olen Butler’s Hell is well written and quite funny. Hell, in his imagination, is a thoroughly modern place with all the amenities of today’s society. It seems everyone is there from the obvious, Stalin, Hitler, Henry the VIII, to the less obvious Bill Clinton (who is compelled to pull down his pants everytime a woman enters his hotel room), Shakespeare (his writing is doomed by the Blue Screen of Death), and a manical Nixon as a chauffer. I seem to remember the Bee Gees being there. Huh. <br /> <br />So the premise is this, Hatcher was a newscaster in life and is now one in hell. He lands the interview of the his afterlife with Satan for his on going series “Why Do You Think You Are Here?”. Though this interview is just a small portion of the book, I found it to be the absolute funniest part. To aviod giving too much information, I will go on to say that as a result of this interview Hatcher figures out that he still retains his own free will and that his thoughts are his own, Satan is not in on everthing. From this discovery he begins to formulate a way out of Hell. With the help of Virgil, Anne Boylen, his exwives, and many other guest appearances he eventally finds what he is looking for. <br /> <br />Again, engaging, well written (unlike this review), and somewhat thought provoking. From Bulter’s comments on society, to the “cameos” this is one of those books that you read the frist time for the content and the second time to pick up all of the humor you missed on the first pass. Kind reminds me of An Evening of Long Goodbyes and Good Omens (funniest book ever, and I missed 99% of the British Humor). <br /> <br />So yeah, that is it on this one. I would read Olen’s other titles. In short, thumbs up – from my perspective. Oh yeah, one problem. The Kindle version was kind of jacked up. The ‘y’s were cut off at the bottom and would show up in random places leading to confusing formatting at times. And that is my only gripe. On this topic.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-3502082637960844872009-12-31T11:34:00.000-08:002009-12-31T12:08:59.923-08:00Too Much Money. Too Much Repetition. Book 6Do audio books count? I am going with yes. It seems that the dog can neither drive nor read so I had to break down, spend the cheese, and buy an audio book. I have never felt so 80 years old in my life. Except this morning, but that was probably the hangover. Actually, I bought two, but Amazon was unable to deliver the goods in time for my trip. Naturally, the one that I really didn't want was the one that arrived on time.<br /><br />Good ol' Dominick Dunne. How could I go wrong? Snark and high society for 9.5 hours of the 11.5 I had to kill in the car. Let me just start by saying I was under the impression that unabridged meant complete, not repetitious. I guess I was wrong. So the hook is this, Gus Baily is being sued for slander. He repeated a tidbit of gossip on a radio show that turned out to be false. This story was spread and he is not on the hook for $11M. Gus is a thinly disguised Dominick. Though I can't remember for what he was being sued, but it was something. Anyway Gus gets contracted to write a novel about the death of Konstantin Zacharias. A thinly veiled Edmond Saffra. Konstantin's wife is none too pleased and wishes for the whole thing to go away. Other insanely wealthy characters come and go, surely disguised real insanely wealthy people whom I am not aware of as HSV AL is not very close to the upper east side and the only 0s in my check book are in the tens column. So I knew in my brain that there had to be some type of a plot and I kept listening and listening to find one, but alas, none was to be found. Gus fades in and out of chapters and becomes progressively more whiny and also comes out of the closet. Wait, was Dominick Dunne gay? No matter this is a gossip novel. Names of fancy items are repeated and repeated. Turnbull and Asser, one must really have their suits and ties and shirts handmade there. Smythson of Bond Street Stationers, forget the Moleskine you common white trash! If you are lucky enough to own your own jet you are the shit and you will make many friends. Lasting and true relationships I am certain. All maids are thieves. Old single rich ladies have Walkers. Shit you not, when the Brooke Astor character shows up at a luncheon with her Walker Winkie Williams I thought that she had named the apparatus that aided in her mobility. Not so much. Old rich ladies have Gays to squire them around. Huh. I will have to impart this knowledge on my friend Kevin. Then there is the sex. Let me tell you, I am a teen aged boy at heart. The reading aloud of dirty words by some woman who is trying to be dead serious in various accents slayed me. At one point an insanely wealthy man has a stroke with his penis *giggle giggle she said penis* out in the bathroom. The sentence went something like, "his penis began to urniate all over." So does that mean that the penis is really the brains of the operation? Or is it it's own separate entity? That explains quite a few things. When the mention of rimming came about I nearly lost control of the car. As for the repetition. Every single time a person was mentioned their background was given. After 5 hours I was reciting, with the reader, the back story on each person. Horrid. Simply horrid. It was literally too much. As for the resolution of the nonplot, I have no idea. I do not know if the lawsuit was dropped, if the book got written, if the secrets all came out. It is just a blur. So, long and short of it, fine for the beach. Fine for the car. Not offensive, but not worth the $22 either.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-16381027774915528492009-12-31T11:30:00.000-08:002009-12-31T11:33:46.746-08:00Merry Freaking Christmas Book 5Every year when I lived in Iowa, KWWL would air A Christmas Carol at midnight on Christmas Eve. The good one. The one with Alastair Sim. Having long since moved I have the movie on DVD and make it a ritual of watching it as I drift off to sleep every December 24th. Except for this one. UGH!!! I drove to FL and FORGOT MY FAVORITE XMAS MOVIE. Well, one of my favorites. So there I was, Alastair Simless and the 24th was drawing nigh. What was I to do but reread the original. Which turned out to be a wonderful idea. It has been several years since I read this and I truly forgot what a masterful tales Dickens was able to create. Some of my favorite quotes from early on in the book:<br /> <br /> <br />Mind! I don’t mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. (Cracked me up)<br /> <br />The fog came pouring in at every chink and keyhole, and was so dense without, that although the court was of the narrowest, the houses opposite were mere phantoms. (The fact that words can be put together to come up with such vivid imagery amazes me, or maybe I am just remembering the movie, how tacky would that be? I like think it is the words)<br /> <br />“What’s Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in ‘im through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will,” Scrooge said indignantly, “every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly thorough his heart. He should!” (My feelings precisely)<br /> <br />There is no sense in a synopsis, we all know the story. But I will stop to say this, I have been for the past two years trying to cancel Christmas. It has yet to work. I can not stand the urging by the television to get out and SPEND YOUR MONEY NOW, the expectations by certain family members that I WILL be buying them a gift because they purchased one for me (um, it is better to give that to DEMAND to receive), and the basic well, gluttony, of it all. This book reminded me that Christmas is supposed to be about (minus the Bible stuff) being with your family and friends, being thankful for what you have and being kind to others. That is what I want for Christmas next year. A goose, some figgy pudding, some booze, and good friends and family. And with that, Merry late Christmas, and Happy Early New Year. <br /> <br />PS, Read some Dickens. Any Dickens. The words are wonderful. And the humor sneaks up on you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-84694757207160913402009-12-31T11:27:00.000-08:002009-12-31T11:30:52.629-08:00Homer and Langley: A NovelSeriously, I am the worst blogger ever. I do not resolve as a New Years Resolution to be more consistent, I resolve to be more consistent because I agreed to do this and I will not let down all of my faithful followers. All 2 of you. <br /> <br />Anyway, Homer and Langley: A Novel. Book 4. One would really think that I would have gotten the fact that this was not an autobiography based upon the title alone, but I missed it. In fact the fact that the author was E.L Doctrow and not one Homer Collyer should have tipped me off much sooner than the last third of the book. Seriously, I can be so utterly clueless at times it amazes me. I came across this in People Magazine. Yes, People Magazine. What can I say, I don’t watch 2 and Half Men? Does that help? I digress. <br /><br />This novel is historical fiction based upon the lives of two rather infamous brothers who lived in a brownstone on 5th Avenue through 1947. They lived shunning regular society and it’s rules and restrictions and were both found dead surrounded by masses junk and garbage. As it turns out, they were high society hoarders. Or, as this book is written, the Forest Gumps of hoarding. <br /> <br />It starts with Homer stating that he is the blind brother how his blindness came about. It then goes on to introduce Homer’s brother Langley and how interconnected they have always been. Homer is left alone with his well to do parents when Langley goes off to fight in WWI. Their parents die from influenza and Langley returns a different man having suffered lung damage owing to Mustard Gas (I think, I read this like 2 months ago). They live with “the help” in the large brownstone on 5th avenue. Langley slowly becomes more and more disenchanted with society and begins “collecting” things that may be useful at some time. He also devises a plan to write a universal newspaper that will be timeless thus the need for only one edition. He begins collecting all newspapers to study the articles and categorize them based upon their content. While this is happening, time is marching on and the brothers spend time in the roaring 20s in speakeasies with gangsters and their molls. The depression hits and Langley becomes more manic with his collecting and stingier with his money. At one point a Model T is rebuilt in the dining room of the brownstone much to the chagrin on the cook. Speaking of which, the cook’s nephew arrives from New Orleans with his trumpet, or trombone, or something, and introduces Homer, a piano player, to the jazz age. The brothers and the cook’s nephew begin throwing afternoon teas and charging their high class neighbors to come by and dance to the band and have a glass of sherry. The cook’s nephew goes off to fight with the Tuskegee Airmen (I think) in WWII and dies. The 50s pass and the 60s roll by with the brothers inviting random hippies into their completely packed brownstone to crash. They smoke pot they become a tourist stop due to the squalor of their once grand building. Time passes and the junk and rats multiply and eventually Homer grows tired and wonders why his brother hasn’t been around in a few days. Ugh. The ending was total cheese. By this point, I had surmised that this was FICTION (dumbass, seriously) and thought that ending could have been not better per se, but different. But for one sentence – the end – I really did enjoy this book. Though it is VERY Forest Gumpian the author’s reasoning behind some of Langley’s obsessions seems plausible, the book is well written and engaging. The following paragraph makes me want to know Langley personally. Which, to me, means the characters are very well crafted. <br /> <br />Pacing about and swearing his undying hatred for this electromonopoly, as he called it, he proceeded to mail back the letter with his grammatical corrections in a nice neat packet of several years’ of unpaid bills, altogether weighing, he claimed, a good quarter of a pound. Homer, he would later tell me, I felt privileged to pay the postage. <br /> <br />All in all, good book. Though the brothers died in 1947 as I learned in Wikipedia (we all know that means it is true and accurate) and many of the things that happened in the book are in direct conflict with the truth, it was still worth the Kindle download.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-28217436036609340562009-12-31T11:21:00.000-08:002009-12-31T11:27:11.403-08:00Happily I am not a Mulvaney. Book 3Oh Oprah, how I hate thee. So how in the world did I end up reading this? The evil Kindle lured me in. It was on some list… OK, Oprah’s book club list. Yes, I went there. I will not be going back. Ever. Plus I have already read East of Eden and I didn’t need the queen of whatever to tell me to. Oooh, I am bitchy and I like to think book snobby. Which is really just rude, but at least I recognize that. So, <strong>We Were the Mulvaneys</strong>. I cannot even begin to relate how much I loathed this book. Everything about it. I had to fight to make it to the end. Oh, the end. That alone ratcheted up the ol’ hate o’meter by at least 50%.<br /> <br />So the synopsis. Part I, We are the Mulvaneys. Well off family, small town uh, New York State maybe, I don’t remember now. 3 sons, 1 daughter. Loving Mother and Father. Life on a beautiful farm, everyone is popular and does well in school. There are horses, dogs, cats, birds. It is freaking paradise. But there is something bad looming and it takes chapter after chapter after chapter of foreshadowing to finally get it out. I seriously felt like I was reading the script for General Hospital. SPIT IT OUT ALREADY. My God. On a positive note, the chapters jumped back and forth in time, back and forth from character to character and really made the narrative of this portion of the book interesting without being all timeline-y. Mind you, that is ALL that I have to say that is complimentary.<br /> <br />***IF you want to read this shittastick novel and want to be “surprised” stop reading this review here****<br /> <br />So the big build up keeps building and building and the reader totally knows what is going to happen, it is the author that drags it out to soap opera proportions. The sister is raped while out on prom night or a valentines dance whatever, not important. The dance that is. The rape sets the rest of the book into motion.<br /> <br />Part II and III and maybe even IV, there was for sure and Epilogue.<br /> <br />Soooo, the family totally falls apart because of the rape. The quiet science minded brother loses his shit and wants revenge, calling on the baby brother and narrator of the book to help him in his crime. The Father turns to the bottle, loses his business, is arrested several times, and eventually runs that family into bankruptcy and they are forced to sell the farm. The sister is exiled because of her choice not to press charges and because she was raped and no one can deal with that fact. She turns to some semi cult and then moves on as people begin to care about her. She becomes a bit of a drifter, afraid to set down roots and make deep connections (sorry to sound all “Bachelor” like). Oh, and she has this cat that she has had forever and eventually lands in some city where the cat becomes ill. So she has to take it to the vet which is on this big farm and eventually she has to put the cat to sleep. I mean the book is depressing as hell as it is, but was it really <em>really</em> necessary to include this? Horrible. I was a mess. The eldest brother also turns to the bottle and the whores then gets in a car accident, drunk, and paralyzes the chick he was going to propose to so he quits the family company and joins the Military. The Mom gets all Bibley and lives in total denial her family has gone to shit and is fucked up well beyond repair. The Father gets sick and dies from the drinking and smoking – that should serve as a warning to all of you ---. <br /> <br />In the background there is this business about Evolution vs Religion which I think was supposed to be “deep” and make the reader “think” and relate the “deep” thoughts to the larger story. That just pissed me off. Don’t be all, look how “deep” I am and look how “deep” my tragedy of a novel is. Just don’t. Plus, this is without a doubt the most dreary and depressing book ever. I wanted to scream, "go the shrink, deal with your fucking problems, stop sweeping everything under the rug." So the pages passed, my irritation grew and the book ended. Right on the same morose note of the post rape parts of the book. Fine, I was pleased with that. The family fell apart, here is the story of how this one act ruined a perfectly functional family. Great. Fair deal. Done. <br /> <br />Then, the Epilogue. Joyce Carol Oates jumped ahead 10, 20 years, maybe even 5. Whatever, the point is after untold pages of tragedy and misery everyone gets together for a happy family reunion on the Mother’s new farm. Seriously. All problems vanished, everyone is healthy and happy and prosperous. See, time heals all wonds! Look, the rape victim married the vet, look, the brother that was going to kill the rapist came home on a motorcycle with a girlfried, look the brother who was in the Military has a wife and a perfect family, look, the narrator is a wonderfully well adjusted newspaper man. Yea! Sunshine and roses! Happy Happy! The end. Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? A zillion pages of untold misery and then a happy bow wrapped around a 15 page epilogue? Wow.<br /> <br />This book sucked it. Hard. I hated it. HATED. IT. I makes sense that Oprah loved it, it was “deep”, it made you “think”, it had that “spiritual” aspect to it, and everything worked out wonderfully in the end. I give it the finger.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-37510016571688701382009-11-20T13:11:00.000-08:002009-11-20T13:53:09.057-08:00A Touch of DUMB Book #2So, I am behind as usual. Last weekend was the great tiling fiasco of '09. When my Father wants something done, he wants it done now. Because of this, I had the immense pleasure of tiling two bathrooms (heads) on a boat. The whole situation sucked the life out of me and put me in the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">position</span> of needing to numb my pain with beer for two days. This lead to emotional breakdown and deep hibernation. In situations such as described, this is not an unusual reaction on my part. I am now back in the game. 2.5 books into this deal. My filler was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Charlane</span> Harris' A Touch of Dead. I know, stop with the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Charlane</span> Harris. But I have been embroiled in the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Sookie</span> series for a year and this was in my Kindle queue. Imagine my surprise when I was greeted with short stories. I hate goddamn short stories. Remember what I said about the filler in my last review? Well this was a whole goddamn book of filler. Filler from past books that her editor edited out. With good reason, I may add.<br /><br />The first section is a charming little note by the author explaining why she <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">psyched</span> out all of the readers of this series with a damn book of short stories as the latest release. Great, lady. Mind you, all the books in the series are titled Dead <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">somethingoranother</span> so they are impossible to keep straight. How the hell am I supposed to figure out where stories fit in? Luckily, for those readers (me) that can not keep the Dead <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">somethingoranother</span> books straight, she explains that the forth coming short stories are in chronological order. Genius.<br /><br />The first, Fairy Dust, is about how <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">Sookie</span> solves the murder of Claude and Claudine's triplet, Claudette. Christ. The second, Dracula Night, is about how she figures out that vampire <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">claiming</span> to be the real Dracula at Eric's Halloween party is not really Dracula. Christ. The third, One Word Answer, is about how she solves the mystery of the death of her vampire cousin, Hadley. Christ. The fourth, Lucky, is about how <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">Sookie</span> and her friend Amelia solve the mystery of who has been tampering with her insurance agent's files. Seriously. It all comes down to the fact that he is a witch and has been hogging too much of the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">allotted</span> luck for the city of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">Bon</span> Temps for himself. She must have some really good pot to come up with this shit. Finally, the fifth, oh lord, the fifth. The fifth, Gift Wrap, is charming tale of how <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-error">Sookie's</span> Great Grandfather gets her laid for Christmas. Enough said.<br /><br />I just don't know what else to say. If you have read the rest of this series, save your cash. This just was not worth it. That's all I've got.<br /><br />I would like to say thanks to the ladies of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-error">Paheeba</span> Day... I will be enjoying Auntie Mame this evening. Yes, that is my Friday night. I guess there could be worse ways of spending it. Say with a book of short stories.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4584900455670902829.post-60571083992644011472009-11-10T14:01:00.001-08:002009-11-10T14:40:00.402-08:00Book #1 Part 2I have no clue what the deal is but cutting and pasting is not working out for me. Which is a shame because I tend to get more of my personal business completed at work than I do at home. So here we go, I am going to retype this like the steno that I am not.<br /><br />Strange how when I commit to something I immediately wish that I would not have. I have been looking at this post as though it were dreaded homework for the past 3 days. Which is odd since I have been totally <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">gung</span> ho about being part of Cannonball Read this year. Anyway, here is to hoping that once I get one review under my belt the words will flow from my fingertips on a weekly basis. As for my excuse as to why I am a day late (now 2, or is it 3?) I can only say that I managed to procrastinate (drink) the entire weekend. Really, nothing new there. Excuses aside, here we go. Review #1<br /><br />I kicked off this challenge with plans, big plans, War and Peace Plans. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Ok</span>, not really, but I had developed a list. I was in the middle of The Eyre Affair (totally loved it and very soon I will be reading the next in the series so hold on to your socks because a review will be coming) when my evil boss suggested (demanded) that I attend a conference with her in San Diego. Great! At least 10 hours of fight time to read. Horrid! At least 10 hours on an airplane. After finishing The Eyre Affair (did I mention that I loved it?) on the first leg I was left with my list. In honor of the start date (I know Nov 1 is not Halloween, but close enough) I was primed to read Shelley's Frankenstein. My travel <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">accommodations</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">dictated</span> that I make another selection. It seems that being pressed against the fuselage in a vain attempt to avoid contact with one's seat mate, mouth breathing to avoid various and sundry unsavory aromas that seem to prevalent on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">commercial</span> aircraft, and willing the bird to stay aloft does not allow for the concentration needed to digest 19<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">th</span> century horror. Just saying. Maybe it is ADD, maybe a stronger person could have done it. Not me. I dialed down, way down, my literary selection to better suit the situation.<br /><br />So there I was alone in my 2 sq feet of space with Shakespeare's Trollop (and who does not love the world trollop, I mean really) by <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">Charlaine</span> Harris. Also known for her Southern Vampire series (read 'em), Aurora <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">Teagarden</span> Mysteries (read 'em after I demolished <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">Sookie</span>), Harper <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">Connely</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">Mysterys</span> (no relation, read 'em up until the 3rd book when the step brother and step sister had sex which is just gross) and this series, the Lily Bard Mysteries. Get it, Bard...Shakespeare. That alone should clue you into the quality level of these books. Do not get me wrong, I love crappy, trashy, semi-illiterate (Twilight anyone?) novels and I have read most of her writing. Once I get on series I am like a dog on a G<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">reenie</span> provided the work is even semi palatable. I really get hooked on this "fluff and filler" genre. Easy to read, you can skip entire sentences, hell, even pages. Perfect for air travel.<br /><br />There really is not a lot to say about these books in way of a review. They are short (this one was 194 pages) they have a murder within the first 2 chapters and the guilty party is never who you expect it to be. Not because you are not savvy enough to pick up on the clues, but because the clues are not provided. I am guessing that this is so that you do not crack the case by page 65 and miss out on the remaining 150 pages of filler. Anyway, person is murdered, Lily finds the body, goes to Karate and works out every night (this activity is covered ad <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-error">nauseam</span> which is really annoying, but filler is the name of the game), Lily cleans houses and dishes the dirt (pathetic pun intended) on her clients, has sex (which is another thing I do not understand. B<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">ecause</span> these books pander to the ladies is it wholly necessary to add <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-error">cheesetastic</span> bedroom scenes? Wouldn't I just read a Harlequin if that is what I was after? Filler, I guess), figures out who the murder is in her head so you have too fill up on the filler, the last chapter hits the killer is caught and you find yourself hungry for the next book. Not bad, not good. They are just there. Good to read after work when you are in shutdown mode, good for the plane, good for beach. Fluff and filler. Also good for the Kindle, they are cheap ($4-6) and your airplane seat mate will not judge you for your taste in novels. Yes, I am that shallow.<br /><br />Side note on The Eyre Affair. I was positive that I had read Jane Eyre and I that I simply drank that brain cell away. Not so much. So I am working on it now. However, going from hardcore fluff to a beloved English novel is quite the transition. I am not able to guarantee that I will have completed it by Sunday. It that appears to be the case I will have to power through the latest <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-error">Sookie</span>. Easy to do in a day. Hey, I am just trying to keep on track!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0