Friday, November 20, 2009

A Touch of DUMB Book #2

So, I am behind as usual. Last weekend was the great tiling fiasco of '09. When my Father wants something done, he wants it done now. Because of this, I had the immense pleasure of tiling two bathrooms (heads) on a boat. The whole situation sucked the life out of me and put me in the position of needing to numb my pain with beer for two days. This lead to emotional breakdown and deep hibernation. In situations such as described, this is not an unusual reaction on my part. I am now back in the game. 2.5 books into this deal. My filler was Charlane Harris' A Touch of Dead. I know, stop with the Charlane Harris. But I have been embroiled in the Sookie series for a year and this was in my Kindle queue. Imagine my surprise when I was greeted with short stories. I hate goddamn short stories. Remember what I said about the filler in my last review? Well this was a whole goddamn book of filler. Filler from past books that her editor edited out. With good reason, I may add.

The first section is a charming little note by the author explaining why she psyched out all of the readers of this series with a damn book of short stories as the latest release. Great, lady. Mind you, all the books in the series are titled Dead somethingoranother so they are impossible to keep straight. How the hell am I supposed to figure out where stories fit in? Luckily, for those readers (me) that can not keep the Dead somethingoranother books straight, she explains that the forth coming short stories are in chronological order. Genius.

The first, Fairy Dust, is about how Sookie solves the murder of Claude and Claudine's triplet, Claudette. Christ. The second, Dracula Night, is about how she figures out that vampire claiming to be the real Dracula at Eric's Halloween party is not really Dracula. Christ. The third, One Word Answer, is about how she solves the mystery of the death of her vampire cousin, Hadley. Christ. The fourth, Lucky, is about how Sookie and her friend Amelia solve the mystery of who has been tampering with her insurance agent's files. Seriously. It all comes down to the fact that he is a witch and has been hogging too much of the allotted luck for the city of Bon Temps for himself. She must have some really good pot to come up with this shit. Finally, the fifth, oh lord, the fifth. The fifth, Gift Wrap, is charming tale of how Sookie's Great Grandfather gets her laid for Christmas. Enough said.

I just don't know what else to say. If you have read the rest of this series, save your cash. This just was not worth it. That's all I've got.

I would like to say thanks to the ladies of Paheeba Day... I will be enjoying Auntie Mame this evening. Yes, that is my Friday night. I guess there could be worse ways of spending it. Say with a book of short stories.

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